Poisoned Words
by SlayersFan132
Summary: Well, here's the story of how I, the great Lina Inverse, ended up in the land of the dead. It isn't exactly short, but hey, it's a lot shorter than it would've been five years ago. Read it and weep, everyone. (Lina/Zelgadis Oneshot)


**A/N: I really just came up with this as I went. The idea started while I was riding in our family's car, and I read a fanfiction that had an OC trying to poison Zelgadis, and the chimera mentioned that poison didn't work on him. I had nothing to write with after I thought "Maybe poison wouldn't work on Zelgadis, but what about Lina?" I figured it would be fun to write something about it, and it was (I SWEAR I'M NOT A SADIST!). Anyway, this fanfiction, unlike all my others, is mainly in past tense. Please read and review. I would really appreciate it.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Lina, Zelgadis, or the Slayers, but I own a few of the characters. Have fun reading this, cuz' I definitely did!**

**Poisoned Words**

Poison. It's a dangerous thing. I should know, because, after all, I died of such. I was sent to this world of spirits, people that never got to fulfill their dreams, people that left their lives unfinished.

Like that little boy over there. He died of hypothermia. He fell in a river and never came back out.

And that woman. She died in a war, a long, terrible, pointless war that lasted for years on end. She never got to see her family again, and now she's waiting for them, because that's the only way she'll ever greet her husband again, or embrace her children.

Too many people die of pointless causes, and it's unfair to the ones that loved them, the ones they loved. Wars are raged all over the world, and what does that solve? Nothing. It proves your superiority, sure, but then, why do they come back to try and defeat you again?

Before I forget, I'll explain how I got here, who I am. Listen if you wish to. Everyone else here knows the story. I am famous, after all.

* * *

I'm Lina Inverse. I was known for a very long time as the bandit killer and dragon spooker, but to my friends I was known as Lina Inverse, sorceress supreme. Everyone knew I was fiery, but they still stuck around me. I drove bandits extinct, too. No one ever bothered to get to know me, aside from my best friends.

Gourry Gabriev. Sure, he was an idiotic jellyfish-brain with the attention span of a goldfish, but he was also the most loyal, friendly, and strong guy you'll ever see. You could search for millions of years and never find anyone like Gourry. He followed me around, insisting that he was my guardian, the guardian I never thought I needed.

Zelgadis Greywords. He was gloomy, insistent, and too thick-skulled to realize that everyone liked him the way he was. When he was sixteen, his grandfather (or was it his great-grandfather?) granted his wish to become stronger in a way that no ordinary human could expect. He was changed into a chimera. He believed for fifteen years that no one could possibly love him, that no one would ever accept him for who he was. That is, he believed that until he met Gourry and I. After we went on enough adventures, mostly saving the world (which got really annoying), he finally opened up to us, and we grew to love him even more. I married him after Gourry and I parted ways. We settled down in a nice, quiet area where we didn't think anyone would bother us. (And here I am now. Huh.)

Amelia Wil Tesla Seyruun. She believed that Justice and Righteousness would solve all her problems. She thought that white was good and black was evil. Then she met us, and she started to open her eyes to what life really was. Sure, her optimism really helped at times (like that time she, Gourry and Zelgadis tortured Xellos with the 'Life is Wonderful' speech), but sometimes she got really annoying. Once, Zelgadis actually had steam coming out of those pointed ears of his. You should've seen it!

Phil El Di Seyruun. That guy was just as crazy as his daughter, if not more so. I don't have much to say about him, he was mainly just a comic relief. There was that one time he killed some lesser demons with his Pacifist Punch, and I remember Zel saying something about how he rode in with his white horse and fled with them riding Phil and the horse running away on two legs. Honestly, that guy was ridiculous!  
Xellos Metallium. He was another comic relief, and he was also a Mazoku. He never lied, and he still doesn't. He has helped us often, but no one particularly liked him. Zelgadis flat out hated him, especially his favorite catchphrase: "Now, that is a secret!" He had very well-hidden feelings for Filia, a golden dragon, and she likewise had feelings for him, which she showed through trying to kill him every five seconds.  
Filia Ul Copt. Like I just said, she was a golden dragon who loved Xellos. She sort of adopted the reincarnation of Valgaav, who was our enemy once. She hatched him almost eight years ago, and she also had a sort of relationship with Xellos. They didn't legally get married or anything, but they did share a house with each other.

Sylphiel Nels Lahda. She was quiet, shy, and really good with white magic. She saved my life when we fought Copy Rezo (then again, she was also the one who almost got me killed). She had a very obvious crush on Gourry, and she didn't really speak up until I said goodbye to him and married Zelgadis. I guess she thought I was in love with Gourry. Everyone else probably thought that, too. Even Zelgadis looked kinda shocked when I told him I loved him. Sylphiel got married to Gourry shortly after Zel and I got married. The wedding cakes were large enough to feed Taforashia and maybe stop world hunger. As long as Gourry and I weren't there. But unfortunately for any hungry people, we were the ones that requested the cakes be so large.

Anyhow, here's the story of how I died.

* * *

Zelgadis and I went to the nicest restaurant in town, which was the one we had been going to whenever we decided against cooking at home. (We had both gotten pretty good at cooking, given my appetite.) We both ordered the usual: Zel got coffee and I got everything on the list, triple portions. It was kind of ironic how he only ate once a month and I almost ate everything the world's got to offer. In fact, I was on a diet, since I hadn't been in any major fights against evil demon lords and drove bandits and pirates into extinction.

Zel finished his coffee and I was finishing off my drink when a little girl ran in and screamed, "Miss Lina! Help! There's a scary guy out there!"

I knew this little girl to be Iris. She was the sweetest girl in town, and no one could say no to her, so of course everyone ran out of the restaurant and prepared for battle.

What we all saw kind of shocked us.

There were no monsters aside from Xellos, and he was, in fact, beating the pulp out of Iris' dad, which was very uncharacteristic of him.

"Xellos, what are you doing?!" I yelled at him.

"Miss Lina, I'm afraid that this man was trying to poison you, and he may have succeeded."

This came as a shock to everyone within earshot. Who in their right mind would try such a cowardly thing as to poison Lina Inverse? Zelgadis' eyes narrowed, and he asked, "Are you positive, Xellos?"

"I'm absolutely certain that it was this man, Zelgadis," Xellos replied. His eyes were open, which meant that he was deadly serious.

I just stood there for a second. Then I whispered, "Alfred, how could you do this?"

Iris' father snorted, "You're a bad influence to all of our children. You never should have been born. I mean, seriously, who could believe that a flat-chested little girl like you could've saved the world?"

"I believe her!" Iris yelled. "And I believe Mister Zelgadis! Daddy, you're wrong! Remember five years ago, when Sairaag got really dark, and Mommy died? Miss Lina saved the rest of the people! I remember! She's not lying!"

"I believe her," Zelgadis said, supporting the little girl with his deep, commanding voice. "I know she saved the world from Phibrizzo, otherwise I wouldn't be here right now. I would be dead, and the rest of the world would be long gone. Lina's not lying. She doesn't lie about anything as serious as that."

Everyone else in town agreed with his statement.

Alfred just glared at me, and then Xellos tossed him into orbit. I didn't eat the rest of my food, I stood there in the middle of town with my eyes wide and my cloak fluttering.

Zelgadis put his arm around me. "Lina, it can't be serious. There's no way Alfred could have gotten his hands on anything dangerous."

"But what if he did, Zelgadis?" I shook in real fear, not fear for myself but fear for what Zel would do without me. What if he went back to searching for a cure that doesn't exist and never got close to anyone ever again? What if he didn't, but he got all gloomy and forgot about all the good times we had together? Argh! There were too many 'what if's!

"Lina, even if it is dangerous, there's no way we can't handle it," he insisted, taking my hand. "Nothing bad is going to happen to you, we just have to be on guard."

Xellos tapped my shoulder, stopping any upcoming kisses. "Miss Lina, I'm afraid you ate some tainted food."

* * *

A few months later, I couldn't even get out of bed, and Zelgadis didn't leave me aside from eating and getting me food. He rarely slept, he was so worried, and I cried nearly every day. I didn't want to die, I was still so young. If this hadn't happened, maybe Zelgadis and I could've had a kid, but no, no one would ever let me live a normal life. I was Lina Inverse, so of course I couldn't. I was fated to save the world more times than anyone could count and die of food poisoning.

"It's not fair," I whispered one day. "It's not fair. I'm Lina Inverse; I'm not supposed to die of something so pathetic. My life isn't supposed to end like this."

Zelgadis was holding back a tear. "I...You're right, Lina. You deserve so much better than this. No one these days knows what fair is anymore." He closed his eyes and hugged me more tenderly than he ever had. "I love you, Lina. I want you to know that. You're more beautiful than any princess from any fairy tale. They may have looks, but looks aren't anywhere near as beautiful as what you have inside. You've got something no other person has, and that's an unbreakable spirit. No one can break you down, Lina, and that's why I love you. Don't let poison take you down."

"Zelgadis..." I whispered softly, hugging him back. I closed my eyes and sobbed into his chest. "I don't wanna die...!"

He smiled, "That's just it. You won't die. You'll live on forever, even when your body is long gone. I'll make sure that no one will forget you, Lina. You'll live on in everyone's hearts."

After I heard his words, I smiled back. "Don't forget me, or I'll come back to haunt you!" I promised. Hidden in that message were the same three words he said to me.

With that, I slowly slipped away, my body going limp and my eyes growing cold and lifeless.

Zelgadis cried for the rest of the day, and the rest of the week, and until my funeral finally came, he cried. Everyone came to visit, and he welcomed them. He knew that I didn't want him to go back to who he was before he met me. They all offered sympathy, and Zelgadis accepted it.

Meanwhile, I came here, and that's where I've been for the past couple months. I cried, too, but I knew that crying wouldn't bring back the dead. Namely, me.

Which reminds me...

How did _you_ get here?

* * *

**A/N: Feel free, anyone, to come up with your own story of how you got to be in the land of the dead and either post it as a review or send me a PM! (Preferably the former.) Other than that, I would greatly appreciate it if you gave me a review anyway, so please do so, my fellow readers!**


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